i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she looked like the before picture.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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