Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
