Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
