Im at strip club and am horny
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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