There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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