Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
