It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
