Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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