His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
