Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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