The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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