I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
we're so committed to being not committed
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
