wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
