You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
