she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
