this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So gin and wine won't be happening again
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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