Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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