so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize