Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
