No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize