whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
