My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
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Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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