i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
50% drunk capacity currently
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
