Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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