i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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