They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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