we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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