i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
