Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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