I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
