He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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