I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
