well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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