I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Randomize
