don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
