chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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