If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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