So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
