Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
