We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
