so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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