so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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