Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
