But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
