They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
