If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
