He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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