For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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