It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
