What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
