My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my shit smells like andre
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
