and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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