normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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