Me too!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
