I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
