Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
