Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
