Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Boobs are out for the taking
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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